How finding the love of your life can help your golf game

Do you want to play better golf? Most golfers that write to me do but the vast majority don’t know how to do it.

First of all let’s define what better golf is.

My simple version is being able to play good golf out on the golf course. For most golfers this will be hitting shots and scoring as well as you do in practice and in non competitive rounds. If you hit the ball well on the practice tee but lose the plot once you step onto the first tee, you haven’t learned how to play the game yet.

If this sounds like you the game will become frustrating (if it isn’t already) and you will feel like you’re not maximising your potential.

What’s the best way to start playing better golf?

Traditional instruction likes to focus solely on the golf swing and in particular golf swing mechanics. Thinking about your swing (especially while you play) is one of the worst things that you can do. Here’s why;

You become attached to your golf swing. You can’t hit a shot without analysing what went right or wrong. Hit a good shot and you’ll try and replicate it. Hit a bad shot and you’ll try and find a remedy. I call this emotional attachment and it doesn’t allow you to play your best golf. It’s also hard and tiring work!

When I ask golfers to describe to me the best shot or round they’ve played invariably they can’t remember HOW they did it. These situations are like magic and only result when you can let go of your attachment to to golf swing. Letting go enables your instinctive learning machine to take over and perform the skill the way nature intended.

Consciously controlling your swing, worrying about what others think, playing safe and thinking too much about mechanics is a form of emotional attachment.

A friend of mine helps men meet and attract women. It’s not as seedy as it sounds. It’s a reputable business that teaches non confident men how to find a partner in a natural and real way. He is a real world version of Hitch and in a silly kind of way golfers face similar problems.

My friend went on to tell me that guys that struggle with dating think too much and over analyse. They will walk up to a lady worried about what everyone is thinking and usually try a cheesy pick up line, thinking that is the right thing to do. It isn’t.

The golf equivalent is thinking that you’re no good and relying on some quick fix tip to help execute the shot. This rarely works either.

Over thinking and emotional attachment seems like the right thing to do but it is holding you back – no matter what you’re trying to achieve.

The solution? I’m not going to offer you dating advice here, but if you want to improve your golf game then I suggest you take my three round challenge.

For the next three games you play allow yourself to swing with freedom and enthusiasm. Hit the ball in a way that feels good to you. Clear you head of technical thoughts and worry. Let go and stop thinking “how do I do it?”. Tee the ball up and hit the stupid ball!

You’ll have to put thoughts of score and results out of your mind. It’s the only way to make a breakthrough but is well worth the effort. I have found that keeping track of your “free” swings is better than keeping score. See if you can make a natural and free swing at least 75% of the time. This is a good aiming point.

Learning to let go of emotional attachment is not a comfortable thing to do. It will feel weired and even a little scary. But it is something that you have to do if you want to experience better golf. Better golf is just the beginning – after ‘better’ comes remarkable and this is something worth aiming for.

Good golfing,


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